Eat Alone. Or Shop Alone. Or eat with friends. But lunch is for you.

One of the struggles of being a mother is finding some alone time.  I am sure it is the same for SAHMs and working moms, but I am only fit to speak of the latter.  (But while we are on the subject, I hate the mom wars and feel that we should spend our time supporting one another).

At any rate, when you have a demanding job, the tendency is to get in, work as fast as you can as quickly as you can, eat lunch at your desk and get out as soon as possible to spend the maximum amount of time with your kids.

There's a popular book that supports "never eating alone."  Basically, you should always take lunch and use the time to build your relationships.

While I agree that it is certainly necessary to build relationships in order to build a strong network of contacts and build a successful career, I don't think that's the right tactic to take to build a strong family or a strong mother.  I think that while our kids are little, we working moms should let someone else do the contact building and rain making and we should just be the absolute best worker bees that we can be.

The truth is, once you have kids, one parent absolutely must make professional sacrifices or the marriage suffers.  Usually, the kids do too.  Best case, each parent makes some professional sacrifice, but it's going to be lopsided.  Usually, the mother jumps on this grenade.  Although I know at least two stay-at-home-dads that have embraced their role and excel at it, most of the dads I know don't feel the same sense of longing when they are away from their kids.  Or real need to be at a doctor's appointment or kiss the ouchie.  Similarly, most women shrug their shoulders at missing a promotion because of children, whereas the men I know feel the longing in the other direction.

Anyway.  I'm getting to the point, here.  And that point is, while I'm sacrificing the partner track, I might as well enjoy it.  And even though I'm going to work hard, I'm going to enjoy my professional sacrifice by taking lunch and using that time for myself.  I go to Target.  I get returns done at the mall.  I run home and change over laundry, fold a load and watch a show.  I go to the grocery store.  I get my toes done.  I get my hair cut. I have lunch with friends.  I go to lunch with co-workers.  I feel like by doing these things, I can be fully with my husband and my children when I am home with them at night, on Fridays and over the weekend. It makes me a less-stressed mother and an overall more satisfied person.  Although I'm not always alone, I'm not working during lunch and strategically choosing my lunch companions. Of course there are days when work needs to be a priority and I will microwave lunch at my desk, but most of the time, I choose to prioritize myself.

And I promise, next post I will get back to sweet pictures of my babies.

Sisters

Everyone asks whether Clara and Julia look alike.  Answer?  Nope.  But you be the judge:

When I first got my camera, I took a few pics of Clara in the Bumbo:

The other day Julia had on the same outfit, so I stuck her in the Bumbo and took some shots.  The lighting was way different.

They are both so individually different, but I think you can tell they are sisters.  Julia smiles all the time and is so sweet.  Clara is so full of energy and is so joyful.  She wakes up and says "I'm AWAKE!"  She is so excited!  All the time!

Last night I didn't take the monitor downstairs after I put them down.  When Clara gets out of her bed she usually comes straight downstairs.

Well.

She goes to bed at about 7:15 and she showed up at 8:30.  I went up to put her in bed and the whole upstairs was just slightly askew.  Then all of the sudden I realized Julia's door was open.  I looked in and there was that little bald head, poked up grinning at me.  I walked into the room and there was CLEAR evidence that not only had Clara been in her room, she had been in her crib.  I just had to smile.  Clara had put extra binkies and a ton of toys in Julia's crib.  Even though I was slightly annoyed that Clara had woken Julia up, I still love that they are starting to really interact and having secret sister time.

I am excited to see what the future shows!

I don't blog everyday, but I try!

A lot of the blogs that I read are doing 31 days of posts in October about whatever they want, but they pick a theme and have to blog every day.  I can't even think of 31 related things I would blog about and I didn't even get a chance to blog yesterday, so I guess I missed the boat.  BUT, my goal is to blog more in the month of October, even if I don't have pictures to post or anything very important to post.

So here's a run down of what's been going on with us.

Did I mention I got a new car?  I had to, in August.  We went with a slightly used Toyota Sequoia.  It is a great car for our family.  It is functional, is supposed to be reliable and has a lot of room and I have just loved having it. My only problem is that it is pretty close to a mini-van, but it still isn't a mini-van!

Friday my mom and I took the girls to her friend Lisa's house to go to the pool.

Julia watched her big sister, practiced trying to crawl and practiced eating solids.

Clara tried soccer on Saturday morning and, well, I don't have any pictures of that because it was a complete disaster.  We've always known she's a girly-girl, but it seems clear that soccer is not her thing.  Yes, she's a little young, but all of the kids are young and she just was not interested.  They took out blocks for the kids to kick the ball around a tower and she just wanted to build with the blocks.  She only lasted about 15 minutes and then she asked to go home or go outside with Sophia and Ericap (what she calls Erica--Sophia didn't like it either).  Several of the parents were out there running with their kids in circles trying to MAKE them participate (!!!), but I just don't want it that bad.  We'll try dance yet, it's likely to be a better fit.

And anyway?  SHE'S TWO.  She doesn't really have to be involved in activities yet.

The rest of Saturday was a wash out.

Sunday was church, mommy/Clara lunch at Whole Foods during Julia's nap and a play date with her buds.  It was a great weekend.

First Day of Sunday School

Clara's first day of Sunday School was a couple of weeks ago.  Actually, just two, but it seems like longer!  The days are absolutely flying by.  Here she is, in her standard issue White Memorial smocked dress with her diaper bag (Clara carry it!) and her animal cup.

My big girl:

 Julia and me:

All three of us:

Cheese face!

Typically I am not pictured, but this time, Quincy took the picture and there is actual photographic evidence of me in 2012 with a five month old baby and a two year old.  I don't have any feet, but if you look at the picture at the top, those are my feet shooing everyone out of the house.

There is no way anyone who is not a mom of two--or even a mom of two distanced from the baby stage--can ever imagine what it took to get to this point.  Two clean babies and a dressed up mama. A diaper bag (with everything labeled!) for each.  A bottle for Julia with a thermos of hot water to warm it with.  A cup for Clara.  Etc., etc.  Plus, Evan's birthday party was immediately after, so I needed the present, a change of clothes for Clara, change of shoes for me, and two cars (long story).  Well, Quincy ended up with both bags in his car and forgot them.  We ended up being 10 minutes late for our service, but it didn't matter.  We snuck up into the balcony and snagged the last two seats.  And then just like that the service was over.  Clara loved her first day of Sunday school and Julia spent the whole service grinning at people.  And off we went!

Plank Position & State Fans

Oh Julia.  SLOW DOWN.

Look at this child:

She spends HOURS in plank position or rocking on her knees and she LOVES it.  She can easily roll front to back.  Back to front?  Not really at all unless she does it by accident.  She can actually move herself forward and back a little on her knees, but, again, can't really roll over.  She can sit assisted, but not unassisted.

I asked Anita this morning--is it possible that she might crawl before she can roll over?  Anita's been doing this for 12 years and she hasn't seen that, but she has seen a baby crawl before that baby could sit up.  It could happen that way with Julia.

I'm really not ready for her to be mobile.  I just look around the room and shudder with the anticipation.  Clara does NOT understand choking hazards!  I guess we'll figure that out.

We had a great, busy weekend.  We went to Music on the Porch Friday and Saturday was the first NCSU game.  People ask me all the time how we deal with The House Divided.  And by that I mean one spouse attended UNC (me) and the other NCSU (Quincy).  It's really not an issue.  I went to UNC for seven years (undergrad and law school), but was raised a State fan, my dad having taught there since 1982.  Quincy went to NCSU but was raised a UNC fan with both his parents being alums.  So, we both have respect for one another's teams.  NCSU has a much better tailgate, but can't really compete in basketball.  We peacefully coexist, and when they play one another Quincy grumbles and I just cheer for whoever wins.  Anyway, I was in Wally World for baby stuff this summer and ran into the most adorable NCSU cheerleader outfits you've ever seen.  If they'd had UNC I would have gotten those, but they were picked over and only had 4Ts and 5Ts (have you seen the cartoon on the Internet that says "I have this NCSU shirt because I went to NCSU, you have that UNC shirt because you went to Walmart"?  Funny and ironic).

So anyway:

A Week of Firsts--Transition to 2s

There are two classrooms at each level at Bright Horizons.  About mid-way through Clara's time in infants, I heard that Toddlers-2 was the place to be.  But, when Clara went to visit, Toddlers-1 was where she wanted to be.  She instantly fell in love with the teachers, Darlene and Madie.  I thought about pushing what I had heard and getting her in Toddlers-2, but when I really thought about it, what was the basis for what I had heard?  Was it just gossip?  And what's better than letting my child choose her teachers?  So, we went with Toddlers-1 and boy are we glad we did!  First and foremost, Darlene and Clara absolutely love one another.   Both teachers have taught her so much this year, have been so patient with her, and have really allowed her to thrive in her own element.  It has really been a great year.  Clara could hardly talk or walk when she moved up to toddlers, and now she can run, jump, climb things, color, knows songs, her colors (in English and Spanish plus all of the signs), how to count to 10, and a million other new things.

And now it's time for another transition.  Starting last Tuesday, Clara started in the 2s classroom.  The cast of kids are the same.  Some of the kids she has known since she was 3 months old in infants.  But, the teachers, schedule and routine are different.  There are new things for her to learn and do, a much bigger playground to play on, and a great new set of teachers for her to get to know.  Clara and I are still a little sad.  She asks for Madie on the way in every day and we talk about Darlene (Doe Doe) a lot.

Here's some pictures of our big girl on her first day:

And here's some pictures of her first day in toddlers:

Can you even believe how big she has gotten?

For good measure, here's one of Julia while I was taking pics of Clara:

Last week was also the first week of Sunday school.  Stay tuned for pictures from that momentous occasion.

Photo Shoot Gone Wrong

We had everything going for us.  A slightly overcast morning at the beach.  Freshly bathed children that were not tired or (we thought) cranky.  Cute, matching outfits.

But.

Sometimes it doesn't work out like we plan.  Julia was fine, though she did have a hard time adjusting to the sun.  Clara?  Well, I guess I had better let the pictures speak for themselves.

Hey!  The sand!

The sun's pretty bright.

Oh, the sorrow

So pitiful.

Escalating.

Thinking she'd calm down if she got to hold Julia.  Nope.

This one is my favorite.  She's got that hand raised like "THIS IS TERRIBLE!  TAKE THAT CAMERA OFF OF ME!"

Yes, she actually got down to kick and scream.  She actually calmed down for about 30 seconds, it was pretty fun down there in the sand.

Julia, just looking on.

Clara, still at it.

Still at it and now mad because I had taken the dress off of her.

The tantrum started over her orange binky.  Then she didn't want to put on the dress.  Then she didn't want to take off the dress.

They don't call them the terrible twos because they are awesome!