Week In Review

(Written on Friday)

It's been quite a week.  It all feels pretty overwhelming right now, but it's not any one thing, it's just the combination.

Sunday when I left to go pick up Clara's birthday cake it was clear to me that something was wrong with my car.  We took it in on Monday and it needs a whole new engine.

190,000 miles and 12 years.  It's served us very well, but it's time for the Tahoe to be retired.  I'm a budgeter and a planner.  I hadn't planned on a new car until this time next year and I really did not want to take out a loan for a new (to me) car.  Oh well.

Monday and Tuesday Julia's beloved sitter, Alex, was at the beach so we had a mish mash of child care.  I am so grateful for the help from our moms and other sitters, but it throws us off.  I was supposed to work T-Fri, but I ended up having to work a 1/2 day Monday so I'm here for a 1/2 day today.  Alex is back at the beach and we have another sitter.

Julia was giving 5-6 hour stretches of sleep at night, but now she's down to 2-3.

After I finish up at work I have to go drive cars in this terrible heat.

If you put things in perspective, we're still incredibly blessed.  Quincy and I have one another and we have two beautiful, healthy daughters.

We have really good jobs.  We have a beautiful home.  We have families that love us.  Our children don't want for anything.  We need a new (to us) car, but we're not going to have a problem getting financing. We have our share of every day problems, sure, but I do need to focus on the blessings.

Clara is TWO!

I can't believe that Clara is two!  Here she is as a newborn:

And at one:

And here's the first picture I received from her two year old shots on Saturday:

We had a big weekend of celebrating.  On Friday Quincy's dad came for dinner.  On Saturday we had pictures and all went out for an early dinner with Tucker and Claire.  On Sunday Janet came and we had a birthday party with all of her friends and Grandma and Beepa at the pool.  On Monday I brought cupcakes to school for all of her friends.

This time last year we were just beginning to grieve the loss of my cousin John, so a post like this never happened.  But, from now on I'd like to write to the girls to document what's going on with the babies on big days like birthdays and Christmas, whether it's here or in a card.  So, here goes.

Dear Clara,

You are two!  I can hardly believe that two years have zipped past in the blink of an eye.  Right now your favorite things are coloring, going to the pool, animals, colors and Elmo.  You love sitting on our laps and having us read to you as much as you love getting into everything you can.  You have made some sweet friends that you have so much fun playing with.  Your favorite foods are blueberries, strawberries, peaches, chicken (rotisserie, baked, fried, whatever), corn on the cob, spaghetti, yellow cheese (cheddar), pasta, fishes (goldfish) and recently (and inexplicably), edamame.

The past year was a big one.  You learned to run, jump, throw a ball, talk, put your shoes on, make animal sounds, and you learned all of your colors, just to name a few.  You also got hair!  Perhaps the biggest thing, you got a new baby sister, who you love so much!  You love to give Julia, or JuJu as you call her, kisses and hugs.  You're not so sure about sharing your toys, but you're coming around a little bit.

I think 18 months-23 months was the hardest so far for your Daddy and me, but you seem to have turned a corner.  And even when it was hard, the kisses and hugs really made up for the tantrums.

You look adorable in everything and everyone tells us that.  You are already such a pretty girl and I pray that you always know that.  I pray that you retain the self confidence that you have right now.  I also pray that you always have sweet friends in your life like you do right now (and that I like their parents as much as I do right now!).

Happy birthday big girl!  I hope you felt as special on your birthday as you possibly could.  We love you to the moon and back again!

Mommy

Julia's Newborn Pictures

Julia's Newborn Photos were taken by Joanna Cook who is now with Pinky Promise Photography.  She and her co-photographer were absolutely amazing.  We took two cars and took family and Clara pictures first.  Clara then left with Quincy, I nursed Julia and we started taking her shots.  They pointed a little space heater on her and she was so happy and content.  Once we all had enough I fed her again and we headed home.  It was such a great experience and I am THRILLED with the results.  My absolute favorite is the little flower "outfit" and matching hat.  My lovely and talented co-worker, Diana Cubow, and I conceptualized it months before Julia was born.  Have you ever seen anything sweeter?

This post is obviously pretty late.  This weekend we have Julia's 3 month and Clara's 2 year shots.  Stay tuned for the results!

Non-Sleeping Baby

Julia is still waking up every three hours at night.  Sometimes every TWO HOURS!  "WHAT?" says every well-meaning (I hope) person who is more than a little bit removed from the newborn stage.  Such-and-such began sleeping through the night at ten (eight, six, twelve) weeks.  Here's a sampling of the advice I have been given:

Let her sleep more during the day
Let her sleep less during the day
Feed her more when she wakes up at night
Feed her less when she wakes up at night
Feed her every three hours during the day
Feed her every four hours during the day
Dream feed her at 10:30
Don't dream feed her at all
Are you sure she's not hot?
Are you sure she's not cold?
Have you read Babywise?
Don't consider using Babywise.
She should cry it out.
She's too young to cry it out.
Have you read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child?
Try rice cereal in her bottle
She's too young for rice cereal
Try a big formula bottle at night
You should breast feed exclusively for 6 months

What they all seem to forget is that I actually have another child.  Said child slept 12 hours with one wake at 3 weeks.  I did, shamefully, think that it was because of something I did. 

Guess what?

Every baby is different.

I did the EXACT same thing with Julia that I did with Clara and Julia's not sleeping.  Clara did.  So, what is my conclusion?  She's not sleeping for more than three hours without eating because she's not ready to sleep more than three hours without eating.  I don't mind when people come to me with what worked for them, but my actual friends have all told me the same thing.  Their kids didn't sleep more than three hours, and then all of the sudden they did.  If someone had had actual "I used this swaddle and it helped" or "try warming up the crib with a heating pad before you lay her down" kind of advice, it has been welcomed and tried. 

No one wants her to sleep more than me, but she is a giant (90th percentile), happy baby and she likes to eat.  As her mother, I can tell you that she is not manipulating me, she is hungry.  No one knows her cries better than me.  I wish that instead of criticism or advice OR LAUGHING AT ME, people would say "oh you poor dear.  Let me get you a hot (or cold) beverage."

See this smile?  It's cute, right?  Feed me or I'll SCREAM!!!!!!!!!

1-2-3 Magic

This is my third post in one day and I'm not even sure anyone still reads this.

But on the off chance that my friends still do, I wanted to share something that has worked for us. 

Clara will be two next week and according to her daycare teachers, she is talking ahead of what is developmentally normal or even developmentally advanced.  (I say this not to brag, but to explain.)  The result?  She hit the terrible twos early too.  (I actually think she peaked in badness right when Julia was born.)  Terrible twos coincide with communicative talking.  I was pretty worried about her behavior and mentioned it to our pediatrician at her 18 month appointment.  She recommended 1-2-3 Magic and it has been, well, magic.  Clara still throws her fair share of fits and is still pretty wide open, but you can now get her to listen and mind and can even take her out into public without being completely on edge that she's going to melt down any second.  The concept is simple.  State the consequence, count to three without emotion, if you get to three, consequence MUST HAPPEN.  The hardest part is not getting emotional and being consistent.  If you are in the thick of it, I really recommend the book.  It takes a LOT and I mean a BIG GIANT HEAP of patience and an EVEN GIANTER HEAP of attentive parenting.  You know.  The kind you might not have the energy to give with a tiny baby in the house.

See?  Here she is at my parents' 40th anniversary party.  Acting like a civilized precious beast!

Life with Two Babies

Lots of people have two babies, right?  It's not impossible.  It should be easy?  WRONG.

The first three months with two babies is a lot like playing whack-a-mole.  And this with me having somewhere for my very busy toddler to go and be entertained during the day!  SAHMs?  I long (secretly) thought that my job as a corporate attorney was easier than your job at home.  Or at least on par?  I now know that if you are a SAHM, for the first three months after a new baby enters the house, your job is harder than almost anything on the planet.  And are you reading and listening to me?  Have that second baby in January or February when the toddler is in preschool!!

That said, I keep mentioning three months--it is getting easier.  Finally.  I really think we passed a milestone in the last 10 or so days.  I had just started to feel like a weight had come off of my shoulders and then I went back to work.  And let me tell you one thing about that--mothering those precious beasts from 6:00 a.m. to 9:00 a.m. may just be the death of me.  Today Julia's sitter got there at the same time as Alicia, our marriage counselor cleaning lady, and Clara had been screaming about needing a bandaid and a pen for about 10 minutes straight.  I had given her bandaids (that she didn't need except to accessorize her outfit) but there wasn't a chance I was going to trust her with a pen while I had Julia in my hands!  The sectional in our living room may be uncomfortable but it looks a lot better like it is than marked with a pen!

So here's the three of us at three months.  Julia looks less terrified than she usually does around Clara.  Clara looks like she pretty much always does, and I am headed to host (hostess?) a baby shower and am actually remarkably clean.  In other words, this picture is better than it deserves to be.  The couch could use some fluffing and new pillows, but really, who has time to worry about things like that?

Julia Huntington King

Julia Huntington King joined us at 7:10 pm on April 6th, weighing in at 7 lbs, 10 oz.  She was 20 inches long.  She is now three months old and I am back at work.  I started this post when she was 6 weeks, so I better go ahead and publish it!

Big sister was pretty non-plussed about the whole event, but she has really come around.  We have to keep reminding her to be gentle, but she just loves holding and kissing her baby sister.

This is the first picture of Clara holding Julia.  Julia was just a couple days old.  I have about a million more that I will attempt to post in the nearish future!