Eat Alone. Or Shop Alone. Or eat with friends. But lunch is for you.

One of the struggles of being a mother is finding some alone time.  I am sure it is the same for SAHMs and working moms, but I am only fit to speak of the latter.  (But while we are on the subject, I hate the mom wars and feel that we should spend our time supporting one another).

At any rate, when you have a demanding job, the tendency is to get in, work as fast as you can as quickly as you can, eat lunch at your desk and get out as soon as possible to spend the maximum amount of time with your kids.

There's a popular book that supports "never eating alone."  Basically, you should always take lunch and use the time to build your relationships.

While I agree that it is certainly necessary to build relationships in order to build a strong network of contacts and build a successful career, I don't think that's the right tactic to take to build a strong family or a strong mother.  I think that while our kids are little, we working moms should let someone else do the contact building and rain making and we should just be the absolute best worker bees that we can be.

The truth is, once you have kids, one parent absolutely must make professional sacrifices or the marriage suffers.  Usually, the kids do too.  Best case, each parent makes some professional sacrifice, but it's going to be lopsided.  Usually, the mother jumps on this grenade.  Although I know at least two stay-at-home-dads that have embraced their role and excel at it, most of the dads I know don't feel the same sense of longing when they are away from their kids.  Or real need to be at a doctor's appointment or kiss the ouchie.  Similarly, most women shrug their shoulders at missing a promotion because of children, whereas the men I know feel the longing in the other direction.

Anyway.  I'm getting to the point, here.  And that point is, while I'm sacrificing the partner track, I might as well enjoy it.  And even though I'm going to work hard, I'm going to enjoy my professional sacrifice by taking lunch and using that time for myself.  I go to Target.  I get returns done at the mall.  I run home and change over laundry, fold a load and watch a show.  I go to the grocery store.  I get my toes done.  I get my hair cut. I have lunch with friends.  I go to lunch with co-workers.  I feel like by doing these things, I can be fully with my husband and my children when I am home with them at night, on Fridays and over the weekend. It makes me a less-stressed mother and an overall more satisfied person.  Although I'm not always alone, I'm not working during lunch and strategically choosing my lunch companions. Of course there are days when work needs to be a priority and I will microwave lunch at my desk, but most of the time, I choose to prioritize myself.

And I promise, next post I will get back to sweet pictures of my babies.