Life as a Corporate Attorney and a Mom

Today I am linking up with Kelly at Kelly's Korner Blog to talk about being a working mom.

I am a corporate attorney.  I do transactional work for early stage small to mid-sized companies.  "Transactional work" means any kind of contract, from an employment agreement to a debt refinancing.  It can be very interesting, it can be very dry.  I work with really great people and I'm getting really great training.

Why do I work?  Golden handcuffs, I guess.  I still have law school loans, and it doesn't make financial sense for me to quit.  I've never been a stay-at-home mom, and I'm not confident that it would be for me, but I'm not confident it wouldn't be.  What I know is that this is working for now, so we're going with it.  I don't find a lot of my identity in my work, although I would say that a lot of people that I know identify me primarily with my career.

I've been at this for 15 months and some parts of it have been better than others.  When I went back to work after Clara was born, I came back 4 days/week.  The economy was down and we were overstaffed so it was easy to negotiate.  Now we're going great guns and we've lost a bunch of people.  I have been back at work 5 days/week since January 1 so that my vacation, maternity leave and disability will not be pro-rated.  Plus, they just need me.  4 days is a different world than 5 for so many reasons.  After New Baby is born in April, I will come back 4 days/week. 

I think the most important thing that we do as moms and really as women, is support each other, no matter whether or not we work or stay home.  Largely, when you come right down to it, for most people the decision to stay home or work is at its core financial.  Because it's uncouth to talk about finances, we don't admit that to one another and we end up in a debate where we insinuate that the decision has something to do with love of our children.  I'm willing to bet that it almost never does! 

Over the past year plus I have come up with a few tips on how to make the working mom thing work.  Here they are, in no particular order:

1.  Don't worry about and try to figure out how you are going to get your child, who is presently crawling, to swim lessons when they are seven.  Just worry about the next six months.  Is your child care situation working?  Will it work for the next six months?  Let the rest go.
2.  Regularly ask yourself these questions:  Does your child like and trust your child care provider?  Do you like and trust your child care provider?  Are you listened to by your child care provider?  Are you listening to your child care provider?  If the answer to any of those questions is no, seek out a new arrangement.  Transitions are stressful for a little while, bad situations are stressful every day.
3.  Meal plan for four nights/week (see post from earlier this week).
4.  After the children are sleeping, go in and select clothes for the next day and set them on the changing table.  Make sure both shoes, socks, etc. are all ready to go.  You can also do this for the whole week on laundry day (I've moved to this).
5.  Hire a cleaning lady to come every other week (cheaper than a marriage counselor).
6.  If possible, play outside with your child before you leave for work each morning.
7.  Hang up the phone before you walk into daycare/into the house/go to get your child out of the car seat.  Your family needs you more than whomever is on the phone.
8.  Buy everything possible online and don't pay for shipping.  Buy a membership to Amazon Prime or Shop Runner.  I prefer Amazon Prime.  Look at the calendar on Wednesday and order anything you need for the weekend.  Cupcake papers, birthday presents, hostess gifts, whatever.  Cut out as many errands as possible and spend that time with your babies!
9.  Assess needs for daycare/the nanny on Friday afternoon.  Is it picture day on Wednesday?  Toddler curriculum night on Tuesday?  Get the outfit ready and a quick meal arranged over the weekend.
10.  Make your husband a priority too and ask for what you need.

It's definitely not easy,.but neither is being a stay-at-home mom!

What helps the most for us is a really great situation at Bright Horizons.  Here are some of the latest pictures, Clara cleaning up and learning to categorize: